Inspired By Used Car Salesmen #McDonalds Introduces Pre-Owned 5-Piece International Burgers

Inspired By Used Car Salesmen #McDonalds Introduces Pre-Owned 5-Piece International Burgers

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In an effort to meet the changing demands of its consumers, fast-food chain McDonalds announced recently that it has begun offering customers the option of purchasing, at a significant discount, a 5-piece box of pre-owned international burgers.

“If you are in India and you want to eat an authentic Mexican burger, you don’t need to wait till you fly to Mexico. You can have them from where ever you are and at throw away prices,” said one Mr. Lamb McChickenwala of a local McDonalds store in Bangalore.

“Sure, these burgers are a little bit older, and the package may have a couple dents on it, but they’re a lot more affordable than the brand-new ones,” he said in an overtly lovely tone. Pointing to a gently used Menu he said: “the prices vary from INR 49.99 to INR 99.99 depending on how many weeks ago the burgers were prepared and from which country they were sent through cargo.”

“You can lay down 300 bucks for those fancy new international burgers, but the moment you step outside McDonalds they start losing value,” he said. When we said that people buy burgers to eat immediately rather than keep stock, he patiently explained that people buy a lot of burgers out of hunger prangs but can’t eat all of them.

“So we don’t want our customers to throw our burgers in the waste bags. Money-wise, it just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.” he reiterated. “Besides, these used ones still got plenty of cheese and meat left in them, and to be honest, they really don’t taste all that different than they do when they’re new.”

“So we take them back and ship to other locations in the world based on popular demand”, he said.

Company officials confirmed that McDonald’s customers will also be able to purchase a discount value meal that includes previously owned international burgers and a secondhand medium soft drink.

Before we ask any further questions, Mr. Lamb McChickenwala left in his new used Maruti Suzuki Swift he bought a few days ago. Though our correspondent is still disoriented after this interview you can pass on this second-hand news to your inlaws who are desperate for a bite of second-hand international burgers.

Note: This is not real and intended to be a satire only.

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