New relationship is so special in your life that the heat of it literally shuts off your brain. Everybody wants a wonderful experience of togetherness and cherish fond memories. But relationship building is always an in-progress task and you are prone to doing mistakes. Those mistakes can fester into relationship destroying wounds, or take away the magic of the person you love. How many of these mistakes are you two making? Here is a top 11 list, find them out.
1. Stopping Dressing up.
The dating time is over, the game is won. You got comfortable. But remember, you started the relationship looking great to each other. Do not stop getting dressed up for each other just because you are comfortable now. You don’t need to dress up every day though, but make sure you get dressed up just as perfectly for dates, or even to drop in at the office. Your significant other wants to impress his/her friends and co-workers with the catch. And he/she is proud of you.
2. Giving back seat to your individuality.
You, your partner and the two of you as a couple – these are the three parts of your relationship. For the couple to be a strong part, the individual parts, you and your partner should be stronger. When you begin to lose you, the couple gets weaker. Keep your self-identity strong to build a more powerful relationship and to make sure you can always stand alone. You are amazing!
3. Jealousy, Jealousy and Jealousy.
These is a fine line between possessiveness and jealousy. Jealousy is natural, but destructive. You should know where it should stop in your relationship before it breaks it. Most often the causes for jealousy are petty incidents like he found chatting with a cute girl at the office or she talking about a colleague who looks like a star. You are a mature adult and that maturity should prevail.
4. Checking in on daily! Oops!
You both start discussing daily about your relationship like KuKoo clock. You are both guilty of this. The “relationship” does not need to be discussed daily. At times you tend to bombard yourself with doubt and need to hear your significant other answer the following questions: “Do you love me?” and “Why do you love me?”. Just stop it! It is annoying. You can talk once in a quarter. It’s not project management, it’s a sensible special thing. Mind it.
5. Stopping hanging out with friends. Don’t make that mistake.
After becoming a couple, your friends are more than doubled. Suddenly you stuck at time management and prioritizing who to see or go out with. You sometimes need to miss out your friends. After some time you begin missing, you wish for the old days. Hold onto your friends, while still building your relationship. Never make this mistake, friends are too valuable to miss out.
6. Not spending time with yourself.
You want to be together every moment when the relationship starts, but this is the time when boundaries need to be drawn. You both need time alone, just for you. Plan for those times now, so it is easy in the future. Whether it be yoga, playing ps4, or reading a book, going for a retreat it is important that you both still give each other space. Don’t make this relationship into something suffocating. Being in your own company is very important for the soul.
7. Needing to prove their feelings.
Often you find yourself needing your partner to prove their feelings. Why does he or she need to prove their feelings? Why do you need to constantly need to look for clues about how they feel? Relax. Believe what they have told you and enjoy the relationship. Getting lost in figuring out their feelings is almost guaranteed to change their feelings. They love you! If you are compulsive about it, it’s a signal for self introspection.
8. Becoming Bossy.
She may like a strong confident man, and he may like a strong willed woman, but no one likes to be bossed around. Do not try to tell each other what to say on Facebook, who they can see, what clothes to wear, or demand they must change their eating habits. You love them for who they became, let them keep becoming that person. You are building a relationship together, now manage it together.
9. Saying harsh words to each other.
It is easy to say harsh things to each other in the heat of an argument, but stick to the disagreement, not their worth as a person. Saying things like “I wish we had never met” or “You are a terrible partner” or other harsh words will be self-fulfilling. They can be a good person, even when you totally disagree. Mind you, it breaks and there is no turning back.
10. Lying to each other.
There are lies, then there are LIES. Telling her you did not stop by the jewellery store to look at rings is brilliant. Telling her you did not have a drink with a female co-worker is idiocy. It is better to face an issue today than to multiply the problem a dozen times by telling a lie. You can always tell him you are not planning a surprise party, but never lie about a past relationship. Build your relationship on honesty and trust.
11. Disrespecting or Belittling.
This is a huge no no and some of us are guilty of such a behaviour. When you start losing respect for your significant other, the effects start to grow exponentially as you begin to look down on the other person and think less of them. No one is perfect and neither are you! So stop acting like a smartass or bigshot all the time.
If you are doing any of these 11 mistakes, you can start immediately mending things. It is never too late.